duskq

people from the past just don't even understand the concept. that they just wouldnt know me anymore. i don't know i guess it just annoys me- sometimes- to put myself in those settings again- good memories as well and nostalgia i cant help but _g_od, things changed so much thru the yrs i am not that same entrapped person who they have then labeled. i went thru a lot in that family and who it turned me into or out of, but did anyone ever understand the concept of true Culture-Shock even then? This is why i was "mysterious" This is why i kept to myself This is why So many things... and although i love to see them again they just have no idea who i am or what really went on or what i have learned about it after all this time, unless they kept up with me thru the yrs. its too much to explain out in words now at once. guess i'm just annoyed if people from then "know" me. i did not know me then myself and/or had the perspective of what was going on. cuz the thought of them talking about it now and throwing up all these assumptions still...............
guess this is for anyone who assumes anything about anyone who they don't know or assume they know from other- thru others i mean- from those others' perspectives, thru their own pain and biases................ not accepting the mere fact that people evolve as well as their own understandings of themselves, their faith in themselves their potential move towards connectedness in themselves and in the world around them. its what they fear the most.
this nausea these past few days has created a theme of purging for me. now i'm gonna try and eat something and hopefully it will stay down (even on here)